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This site is a joke. Not just in the sense that it is poothetic and dum-bah. It is intended as a joke. So, please, if you lack a sense of humor, don't go on eBay trying to buy a drug named Zocad.

At the risk you don't get the joke, take a look at the Zoloft website. It loads reeeeealllly slow. And we apologize for that despite the fact it isn't our fault.

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Catatonic earlobe syndrome is not a joke

Every year over 8,000 people in the United States die because their earlobes proved too lethargic to protect them during car accidents, bar fights and mah jong tournaments.

In 2007 the Canadian Institute for the Advancement of Human Lobular Responsiveness issued a report calling for rapid approval of Zocad to treat individuals with lethargic and catatonic earlobes.

Zocad was approved in 2008 to treat a variety of disorders related to limp, weak and non-responsive earlobes in humans, canines and rabbits. Distribution of Zocad reduced American combat casualties in Germany by 0%, while accompanied with a statistically insignificant 5.6% increase in suicides among military pets and dads.

Zocad has been shown to cause earlobes to become springy and responsive. One third of all test subjects reported their ears were "starting to freak me the f--- out" because their earlobe were now so responsive.